Put On a Happy Face

This morning, I was followed to work by a couple I know that works in this same building.  They followed me for several miles, and we stopped at multiple traffic lights.

As I looked back in my rear view mirror, I noticed that they seemed to be having some sort of argument.  He was doing a lot of yelling.  Her body language–leaning as far away from him as possible–showed that she didn’t want to be anywhere near him.  Things were not going well for them this morning.

I have noticed this same type of body language on several occasions, giving me the sense that something is amiss.  I’ve never really been able to figure out why though, because the things that they say belie the underlying tension that is apparent in other ways.

As I watched them argue all the way to work, I finally realized that this underlying tension is a result of what is going on between them when no one else is looking.

When I got out of my car, they were both walking toward the building, and what I heard was a cheerful “Hi DeShawn!” from a smiling face.  The “happy face” had been put on because it was time to show the rest of the world that nothing was wrong.

I’m not trying to say that this is a bad thing.  Nobody would want a quarreling couple in their workplace to continue the argument they were having.  It would be disruptive and uncomfortable.  However, it makes me sad.

How many of us put on this happy face in public when in private we are feeling like we could fall apart at any moment?  I certainly have felt this way over the past weeks as I have been in a lot of pain from surgery and therapy.  It’s made worse by the lack of sleep.  I’ve been fighting depression.  But at work and at school, I put on my happy face.

I know of one that hid a horrible marriage relationship from everyone for years until the inevitable separation and divorce came.

I am grateful, however, that my marriage relationship doesn’t have to “put on” a happy face, because my wife and I are truly happy in our relationship.  I am grateful that, with my wife, I don’t always have to put on that “happy face” and she has been a great strength and support during this particular trial in my life as she has been through other trying times.