Japanglish

I've been playing a game on my iPod called "Zuma." It's hard to explain, but suffice it to say that it's a fun diversion. It's sort of a mix between a puzzle and an action game.

Someone needs to help them with their translations though... After each "temple" in the game (which consists of 3 levels), there's a bit of text. Here's a transcript:

Temple 1:

Interloper of puny! You suppose the secret of Zuma it is possible to take the knowing so easily? No! There is defect for your thinking! Three mystery shrines protect method! Never you will strike past them!

Temple 2:

I see what?!? You have lived still. Is it possible to be the one of which the ancient prophecy speaks? It was sent in order perhaps to release me from my wicked capture person finally. But no namely this was the story of the exactly old wive. You want to live, now retreat!

Temple 3:

As for me it is not possible to believe! Your power namely that is large! But there is one more temple which you do not find, that the Zuma deeply buried under the land. It was hidden, it is the temple of secret! You the final temple must fight in order to take the cover of position of my jail!!

Temple 4:

The final temple of Zuma was struck! Your extreme power is not possible to be defeated! As for me it can taste the taste whose almost freedom is sweet sweetly. But god of the sun can be imprisoned at only that true house.

We come from the star, return to the star! It is of you to rescue of my star.

Temple 5:

Excellent work, mighty frog one! You obtained your lawful place of the stars, at the side of the ancient ruler of the Zuma. In the future, as for me, you are known as our sibling. I will call you brother, and we control the outer space together! It is joyous news! Now we are to the dance!

It's actually pretty hilarious. I'm assuming it's a very direct translation from Japanese.