500 Posts!

I was kind of waiting for something more exciting for my 500th post on my blog.  My commute this morning certainly qualifies.

This morning, as I drove to work, the traffic signal by Wal-Mart in Lindon wasn't working.  It's pretty simple, right?  Just treat it as a four-way stop, right?  Would this morning's commute turn into a blog entry if everything were that simple?  Of course not!

People inevitably get impatient, and one driver that was more impatient than most tried to sneak through the intersection by closely tailgaiting the driver in front of him.  The driver turning left looked to his right to make sure he wasn't going to get hit by someone else, but then didn't look back to where he was going in time and he clipped the back of Mr. Impatient's pretty little black Mercedes, nearly tearing the back bumper off of said pretty little black Mercedes.

Mr. Impatient, instead of getting his not-as-pretty-any-more little black Mercedes out of the intersection, jumped out of his car, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs at the driver of the car the clipped him.  Not to be outdone, Mr. Clipper jumped out of his car, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs at Mr. Impatient.

Mr. Impatient and Mr. Clipper then proceeded to have a screaming match in the middle of the intersection, effectively blocking two lanes of traffic in each direction including my lane.  I was stuck.  I couldn't go anywhere.

The screaming match continued as follows:

Mr. Impatient:  Dear, kind sir.  I do believe that your fine vehicle has caused a blemish on my fine vehicle.

Mr. Clipper:  A million pardons, good chap, but I do believe that your fine vehicle should not yet have entered the intersection, thereby not being present for my fine vehicle to cause said blemish.

Mr. Impatient:  Let us then move our respective means of conveyance out of said intersection, so as not to further impede traffic whilst we wait for friendly officers, who protect and serve, to come and determine who is at fault in this unfortunate incident.

Mr. Clipper:  A capital idea, dear fellow!  Let us do so!

Ok, so it was nothing like that at all.  The two got in each others faces, waving arms, and pointing fingers.  The shouting match continued for a couple of minutes.  I'm sure much more was said (screamed?) than heard, because neither stopped screaming and gesturing long enough to hear anything.

Then, Mr. Impatient became impatient with this "conversation" and decided to further his point by punching Mr. Clipper in the face.  Mr. Clipper, not to be outdone, returned the favor.  The pair of them, fists flying, started careening around the intersection, sometimes being narrowly missed by the vehicles that were trying to sneak by in the lanes not occupied by the pugilists' cars.

After a couple more minutes of fisticuffs, a couple of drivers whose vehicles, like mine, were blocked in got out of their vehicles, ran in, and started trying to restrain the street fighters.  That's when the first police vehicle showed up--and parked directly in front of my car, almost touching my front bumper.  Another police vehicle showed up, and soon the two offenders were in handcuffs in the back of two separate police cars.  Apparently, what they were trying to communicate was still rather important to them, as they both appeared to be yelling at each other from the backs of their respective confined spaces.

Since I had a "front row seat" to the whole spectacle, I was asked by a friendly officer to fill out a police report.  Fun.

Mr. Impatient might learn some patience today.  He was trying to save a few seconds by hurrying through the intersection when he should have stayed put.  It will end up costing him a LOT of time dealing with the Lindon, Utah Police department.  He will also be spending a lot of time getting the rear bumper put back on his Mercedes.  He'll likely spend time and money on attorneys to defend his indefensible actions.

And Mr. Clipper?  Although he was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time, he would have saved us all a lot of time if he would have just stayed in his vehicle until the police arrived.

And that is not only exciting to be my 500th blog post, it's also why I was 45 minutes late to work today.