Don't Panic!

Yes, my age is The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything!

It's only true this year, so I'd better make the most of it.

My son started college this morning. COLLEGE!!

Ok, so he's really still a Senior in High School, but he's taking a College Algebra course at Utah Valley University and had his first class this morning.

I'm really proud of him--that he'll be able to get some of his college-level math done before he graduates.

But really? Am I old enough to have a Senior in High School?

I guess so.

Tomorrow, my age will be that of the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. One can only be 42 for a year, so I guess I'd better make the best of it! Although, as of tomorrow, I'm no longer in the Prime of my life. (I'll get back to that next year when I'm 43.)

Well, this is one of the MANY reasons...

Yesterday, my son sponsored a blood drive for the American Red Cross.  My cousin, Glen, was one of the non-donors because he served a mission in Great Britain, and there's a little problem over there--a brain-wasting disease known as Mad Cow Disease.

Glen's sister, Rachel, DID come and donate, and I asked her to give Glen a hard time--call him an angry bovine or something to that effect.  What follows is the text message "conversation" that ensued:

Glen:  Mmmoooo......

Me:  Hmm... Not convincing.  Moo at me again, but this time, with more sagacious afflundency.  Aaaaaand... ACTION!!

Glen:  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO................. Wait...

Glen:  What's my motivation?

Me:  You're mad because they selected the lamb and the pig to go into Donner Kebab instead of the cow.  Thus the whole 'Mad Cow' thing.

Aaaaaaaand... Action!!

Glen:  One second while I get into character.

Glen:  The nostrils flare, steam emitting from them, the nose ring glistens from the setting sun, the eyes barely open held closed by fits of rage......

Glen:  With a guttral sound that would scare a Harley Davidson rider ...  m...m..m.mmmMMrMmmMMMROOOROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAHHHHHHH

Me: I'm SO going to blog this.

See?  My family is hilarious.

* Glen would like to thank the British Farmer for the disease, the British Government for allowing the conditions for the disease, the Red Cross for rejecting him, and James for having an Eagle Project.

NPR published a list of the top 100 Science-Fiction and Fantasy books.  It was based on 60,000 votes from NPR users.

How many have you read?

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien

2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card

4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert

5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin

6. 1984, by George Orwell

7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury

8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov

9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley

10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman

12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan

13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell

14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson

15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore

16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov

17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein

18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss

19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut

20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick

22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood

23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King

24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke

25. The Stand, by Stephen King

26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson

27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury

28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut

29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman

30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess

31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein

32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams

33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey

34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein

35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller

36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells

37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne

38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys

39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells

40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny

41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings

42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley

43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson

44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven

45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin

46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien

47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White

48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman

49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke

50. Contact, by Carl Sagan

51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons

52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman

53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson

54. World War Z, by Max Brooks

55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman

57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett

58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson

59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold

60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett

61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle

62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind

63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke

65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson

66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist

67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks

68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard

69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb

70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger

71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson

72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne

73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore

74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi

75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson

76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke

77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey

78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin

79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury

80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire

81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson

82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde

83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks

84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart

85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson

86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher

87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe

88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn

89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan

90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock

91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury

92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley

93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge

94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov

95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson

96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle

97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis

98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville

99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony

100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

It looks like I've read 24 of the 100 books.  Time to hit the library again...

I'm tired, sore, and happy.

I just spent an incredibly fun weekend with the love of my life.  We ditched our sons and flew out to Oregon to spend a few days on the coast.

We walked on the beach.  A lot.  A whole lot.  We went kayaking on a tidal river.  We visited a couple of lighthouses.  We bought salt water taffy.  We walked on the beach some more.  I flew my power kite in a rather strong wind.

It was awesome.

The best part was being able to spend all day, every day, with my wonderful, amazing wife.  We've now been married for more than 20 years.  I can't wait to see what the next 20 years, 40 years, eternity has in store for us.

I'm telling you right now... if you're a proponent of some sort of alternative medicine, stop reading now, because if you don't, you're probably going to hate me.

Disclaimer:  I'm sure that there are alternate medicines and therapies that, when used wisely and in conjunction with traditional medicine, actually work.  That's not what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about quackery that is used in place of traditional medicine or that can actually cause damage or harm.  Don't know the difference?  Try Quack Watch.

And away we go...

Last evening, I was at an activity where a group of people were discussing First Aid for various situations.  The person leading the discussion would ask the group, "What would you do for _________," filling in the blank with something like "a first degree burn" or "a bad cut."  One of the people present would counter nearly every single answer given by someone else with an alternative therapy of some sort.

Apparently, burns can be treated with lavender oil, though oils have to be rubbed in.  THAT'S gonna feel good on a burn.  Peppermint oil can cure heat exhaustion.  Ok, sure... if administered with enough water and the person is brought out of the heat, why not.  (Though I doubt that it's the peppermint oil that is the cure.)  But the thing that drove me crazy was when they were talking about first aid for a cut.  This person said to sprinkle cayenne on the cut.

WHAT???  Cayenne?  Yes.  You see, cayenne is a "blood balancer" which can treat both high blood pressure and low blood pressure, and can even break up clots that cause heart attacks or strokes when given in "tea form."

Um.... NO.

First aid for a heart attack or a stroke is to CALL FREAKING 9-1-1 and get the person to an emergency room as soon as possible, not to make a cayenne pepper tea.  First aid for a gaping wound is to apply direct pressure and to get further medical assistance, not to sprinkle on something that contains CAPSICUM, which is going to be a painful irritant that will have to be painfully flushed from the gaping wound if it's applied there.

I'm sick of hearing about the healing properties of magnets or essential oils or copper bracelets or foot massage.  It's a load of hooey.  I'm going to take my health problems to people that have therapies that are proven to work, not therapies that have anecdotal "evidence" from your mom's cousin's friend's third grade teacher who tried it out and was cured.  Give me a reason, other than some nice story, to believe.  Nobody has provided that to me yet.

And don't tell me that modern medicine is using their money to cover up the truth.  Don't tell me that your therapy is being suppressed by orthodox medicine because it's controversial.  Don't show me your "credential" that is not recognized by responsible accreditation agencies.  Don't back up your claims with testimonials.  Don't tell me that science has gotten it wrong and just like science once thought the world was flat and then came around, that your therapy will someday gain full acceptance when people realize its effectiveness.  Because if you talk to me about stuff like this, I may just call you on the issue and it's not going to be pretty.

Go ahead and wear your bracelet or use your colloidal suspension or get your feet massaged or test your muscles or dump pepper on your gaping wound.  Go ahead and take herbal remedies for your cancer or drink tea for your heart attack or stroke.  You can even bury a potato in the back yard and dance around it half naked shaking a rubber chicken under a full moon if you think that it will help.  But don't evangelize your method to me.  Frankly, I'm sick of it, and your essential oils won't help for THAT sickness either.

I could go into the science of a lot of things here, but that's not the point.

The point is, I'm not buying your snake oil.  I'm not wearing your magnet, sleeping under your blanket, taking your herbs, and I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT letting you touch my feet.  Because... Well... Ewwwwwww.

Please, let it be when I'm around, and you won't be offended when I rail against your particular brand of alternative therapy.  Find other topics to talk about, and don't bend every single topic of conversation back to how you were helped out by this week's brand of quackery.  That got old a long time ago.  Really REALLY old.

*flame off

As of this morning, I'm an employee of Ancestry.com.

"Wait, WHAT??" I can hear you say?  "I thought you LOVED working for the LDS Church!"

Yes.  That's true.  I did love working for the LDS Church.  And now, I'm sure you're wondering what caused me to leave a job that I loved.

I was a "contingent" employee for the LDS Church.  I was actually working for Employer Solutions Group (ESG) as a contractor.  My contract was for one year.  The year's contract ended back in April.  I was working with my manager trying to get my contract renewed, and it was taking a while.  So a good friend mentioned that they were hiring where he worked.  Just in case something didn't work out right, I gave him my resume.

My contract ended up being renewed--about an hour or so before I went home on the last day of my contract.  It didn't really make me feel very secure.  So I went through with the interview with Ancestry.  That turned into a very good offer of employment.  It was just too good to refuse.

I'm excited about this new opportunity.  It's a little better pay, but more importantly, it's MUCH closer to home and it's full-time employment.

I'm still eating well.  I'm not counting calories any more, and for the last four weeks, I haven't lost a pound.

Yet I'm not worried.  My clothes are fitting more loosely than they did 4 weeks ago.  I have to tighten my belt one more notch to keep my pants up.  That's good.

I think it's probably due to the cycling I've been doing.  Today, I rode my bike from home to the Riverwoods area in Provo and back.

[iframe http://connect.garmin.com:80/activity/embed/85572256 548 500]

That's almost 21 miles with an average moving speed of a little more than 17 miles per hour!

So I believe that the plateau I've hit is not due to "falling off the wagon" but due to building muscle mass in my legs.

I've really missed riding over the past couple of years and I'm so happy that I'm enjoying it again.  I'm riding stronger than I ever have in the month of May and I'm improving with each ride.

So far this year, I've spent 9 1/2 hours on my bike, riding a total of 140.64 miles.  I've climbed more than a mile vertically.  Yesterday was the longest ride of the year so far at 22.35 miles.

[iframe http://connect.garmin.com:80/activity/embed/85373390 548 500]

I was riding with a friend who is in a bit better shape than I am.  It was good to ride with someone who pushed me.

I think that the important thing here is that physically, I'm feeling really good for the first time in a couple of years, and that's a great thing.

I'm still here--really I am.

I have started about 5 blog entries in the last couple of weeks, only to just delete them.

I just don't really have anything interesting to blog about right now.

So move along citizens.  There's nothing to see here...

...at least for now.

Read this article: http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/memoirs-of-bullied-kid.html

Take the time to read the whole thing.  It's worth reading.

I was bullied mercilessly starting in sixth grade.  My first day of sixth grade in a new school, one of the sixth grade teachers made fun of my name.  Loudly.  In front of both sixth grade classes.

My bullying didn't end until High School when, like the author, I learned to love myself again.  Mercifully, most of the worst bullies ended up going to a different High School than I attended.  I was able to (mostly) make a fresh start in High School and I was blessed to find a lot of good friends.

I wasn't only bullied at school, but also at church by a completely different group of bullies.  For a while, it was hard for me to want to continue living among a race that was so hateful and hurtful.  There were several times during Junior High that if I would have had easier access to the means, I would have ended my association with the human race and I would have been happier for it.  I'm grateful that I never was pushed to the point where easy access was no longer a hindrance to me.

Although I was dangerously close to that point more often than I like to admit, even to myself.